Hey friends,
One of the cool attributes of the youth farm is that it is a mix between a job and a summer camp. But because it has both aspects, I've been struggling with understanding the expectations for the girls. For example, I often have to stop myself from taking the girls' phones when they have them out during discussion, or chastising them for being sluggish during activities. Instead of correcting this behavior, we write notes of the incident, and discuss it during our "real talk" sessions every other week. I definitely see the advantage of this method, but it's been a real struggle to teach myself to follow it. I'm sure I've asked my supervisors "Should I ask her to put her phone away?" and "Do you want me to talk to her about being more proactive?" a million times already this summer, but their answers are always something like, "No, but if you want you can make a note of it if you like." I have never worked as a counselor before, so it has been very difficult for me to transition into a teaching/mentoring position instead of a supervising/directing position.
On a more positive note, we've been trying to continue working on building a farm stand for the Frayser community. To help inspire the girls, we showed them Makers: Women in Business (here's a link, it's a fantastic documentary!). Before the film started, we them what a typical CEO looks like. Because a majority of CEOs are male, I anticipated hearing things like "he wears a suit" or "he works in an office." But instead, the girls answered with "a CEO is a strong woman" and "she works really hard." I was dumbfounded and excited, because these girls didn't have an understanding of the glass ceiling. Because they have spent so much time in an environment that tells them that girls can do anything and everything that boys can, they don't even consider the idea of gender roles or expectations.
As many of you probably remember, it is very difficult to keep high schoolers interested in a documentary. Whenever we show them a documentary, a majority of them fall asleep within 30 minutes. However, a few of the girls were actively engaged in this documentary for the entire time. Throughout the movie, I heard comments like, "Ugh I hate how happy women pretended to be [in the 60s]" and "Wait. So she didn't get promoted because she didn't like to wear makeup?" It was great seeing the girls realize the problems many women face in the workplace and how women all over the world are making strides to better it.
Yay! I'm so excited to hear that these girls actually are learning and prospering from the things Girls Inc. tries to instill in their girls! From a counselor's perspective, that must have felt so good to hear.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this because it actually encourages me. Lately, I have felt like some of my kids aren't fully grasping the potentials of women and the ideas GIM is trying to teach them. I'm going to try to incorporate that documentary into one of my lessons and ask them for some feedback. Thanks for the recommendation.
You are doing great work at the farm and having incredible experiences along the way! I'm very happy and excited for you!
Becky - I can certainly understand how it would be difficult to transition into that mentoring role. I have worked as a camp counselor/instructor before and you do have to walk that line between enforcing the rules and trying to help the campers make responsible decisions on their own. Especially since these girls are relatively close in age to us, I can imagine it is even more difficult to take on a leadership role when all you can is make note of instances. That being said, it sounds like the girls are learning so much from you and from the camp already! That is so exciting that they are already ignoring the gender expectations that have been a reality for so many people for so long. I can't wait to hear about the progress you continue to make with these girls.
ReplyDeleteThanks for not only sharing the joys of your service site but also exploring your interpersonal frustrations. Although I have not been confronted by the specific problem of mentoring rather than directing, I have been similarly challenged when clients at my own site bend or break the rules and I am expected to discuss this with my supervisor rather than directly confronting them. In particular, I have struggled with not becoming personally offended when food is stolen and with expressing the same level of welcome and warmth to individuals after incidents have occurred. My supervisor and I have talked about such issues on numerous occasions, and I won’t delve deeper here, but I imagine our experiences parallel each other in these ways. I wish us both luck on learning and growing from others when they misbehave or disrespect our programs (most often in small ways), and I’m glad that ultimately we both comprehend the value of responding in a particular manner.
ReplyDeleteAs for your work with the girls regarding gender roles in business, way to go! It is so great to hear that they simultaneously envision women in positions of power and recognize the prevalence of discrimination against women in the workplace. I definitely laughed at their comments on the documentary, and I appreciate that you connect their perceptions and reactions, at least in part, to their time at Girls Inc. and the positive environment that you and your coworkers have created.
Thanks for sharing! I am especially intrigued by the "Real Talk" sessions and in particular their effectiveness in correcting misbehavior. When I first read your post, I was initially frustrated by the idea myself. I would feel like some sort of spy out to keep tabs on the girls until the time came to point out all of their "flaws". The idea made me a little uncomfortable, as I can imagine it first made you. However, the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. I can see the benefit with older children of having an open and honest session about the expectations set by the camp so that they may internalize the feedback and execute it over time. I hope you'll do a follow up!
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