Hello Everyone! I hope everyone had a great week 2 at their sites. This week at Girls Inc. of Memphis I faced completely different obstacles than I did the previous week.
Upon walking into the center monday morning, I was met with two crying girls both dealing with deaths in their family. One of the girl’s stepmom was shot and killed the night before. She’s 6 years old and has to process this traumatic event. The other girl, who is 9, was grieving over her father who passed away last month on his birthday. Fortunately, I have never lost anyone that close to me, but because of this I had no clue the pain these girls were going through or how to comfort them. That was a really big challenge for me and forced me out of my comfort zone.
The next day, I led a sessions with the teens focused on healthy relationships with family, friends, and significant others. For part of the session the girls each had to read a section of the lesson. Because they are teens everything is so annoying, so of course several of them tried to get out of reading, but I was instructed to make them all participate. There was one girl who was completely adamant about not reading. I finally got her to read, but I noticed that her reading level was no where near where it should be. I had to help her with really simple words. She is going into the 8th grade and reads at about a 4th or 5th grade level. The other girls started to notice she was struggling and started to make fun of her. I felt so guilty for embarrassing her so once the session was over I pulled her aside and apologized and offered to help her with her reading. Unfortunately she declined my offer. It was upsetting to see that her pride interfered with her admitting that she struggled with reading. This made me realize that you may want to help someone, but they won’t always accept your offer and that’s completely fine because people can’t change unless they are willing to change.
This young girl has attended the local public schools in the area since kindergarden. I don’t understand how the teachers and her parents allowed her to make it to the 8th grade with her reading level. If she is struggling with this I wonder how many more kids are struggling with this in the area. This brought me to think, do the majority of these kids not have access to tools and people that can improve reading or are they making a choice not to try to improve.
Other than these two experiences I had a great week at GIM and I can’t wait to see what else is in store for me there.
Alexis, you had to approach several difficult situations this week, but I think you did so with grace and respect. Then, you internalized these situations to unearth their meanings on a larger, societal scale. Your insight about one camper's below-average reading level is indicative of the state of education in many schools serving low socio-economic populations. It's disheartening, but I hope it motivates us to learn more about the issue and someday play a part in overhauling the inadequate system. And I'm sure it was difficult to hear her rejection of your help. But you're right, both parties must agree in order to make changes. This is a little off topic, but I saw that GIM is coming to the Botanic Garden for a class this month! I hope that your group of girls is coming to visit - I would love to see y'all! Keep doing great things!
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ReplyDeleteAlexis,
ReplyDeleteWow. Sounds like you’ve had a dynamic week! It must have been difficult comforting the two girls on Monday without any personal knowledge of what they are going through, but you seem to have handled it well by showing respect and sympathy, as well as stepping out of your comfort zone.
I actually laughed out loud at “because they are teens everything is so annoying”—I love it! It’s that classic image of teenagers as apathetic, rebellious, and sometimes narcissistic. However, your story is so interesting in that the source of this girl’s refusal to read was feeling inadequate rather than proud. The embarrassment of being teased by her peers overpowered her openness to improving her reading. I can relate to your shock that she was reading three or four levels below her grade; at my site, I’m planning a reading program that’s being implemented at the sites that Agape serves, and after seeing the kids’ reading assessments, it was surprising how many are below the mark. Like you, I’m now interested in learning how and why this happens in schools, and ultimately, how it can be changed.
Your observation that in order for change to happen, there has to be a want for change is very poignant. No matter how many times you offer help, it’s the person’s choice to accept. Do you think there’s any way around this without forcing someone to accept your help?
I’m excited to hear more of your experiences, observations, and stories at Girls Inc.! I also look forward to hearing more of your thoughts on the question you mentioned in your post: is it choice or lack or access (maybe both?) that contribute to students reading below their grade level?
You did a great job handling the situation when it was presented to you. I know that working with teens is a struggle, because like you said, everything is annoying and they think they already know everything. But given the problem and the context, I feel you did the right thing by waiting to confront the participant until the workshop was over, and you went above and beyond by offering to tutor her. I'm proud of you!
ReplyDeleteAs Catherine was saying, I'm also glad that you were able to sift through the situation and come to the conclusion that it is a problem with SCS, and not with the girl herself.
From my experience this summer of working with teens, I've also received a lot of eye-rolling, but luckily no sassy comments or teasing among the girls. However, this weekend I had an opportunity to interact with the participants in a casual setting, and they commented on how nice it is to have someone that's older but young enough to be real with. So while you're still a mentor/facilitator for these girls, don't be afraid to get to know them and continue to reach out to them! Keep up the great work!
Alexis, I'm sorry to hear about some of the tough situation you had this week and I can only imagine how much that must have been outside your comfort zone. I understand the frustration and odd situation you were placed in when you tried to help one of the girls improve her reading level. There is a middle school girl at my site and she is very behind in her math and reading levels but she continues to refuse help her improve. It is so true that this is a two-way street and if both people aren't willing to work then not much can be done.
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